closing prayer

Dear God,

Although I am in a very dry season of my faith, as I reflect upon the past year, I know that you have been with me all this while. I haven't been faithful to you, but you have been to me. You are always looking out for me -- sending friends, family and circumstances to help me no matter what mess I create for myself. And for this my soul is thankful for your love is everlasting and faithful, and your mercies new each day.

But Lord, it pains me so to be unable to hear your voice. Have you turned your face away from me? Or has the greatness of my sin hardened my heart, clogged my ears and blocked my sight? Despite all the problems and distractions of the world, you know Lord, that it is still your voice that I desire. Though my feelings, emotions and rationale may tell me things, I want to know your will! Nothing else will suffice Lord! 

I need you Jesus. I am weak but you are strong. I, foolish, but you wise. How could my imperfect, human love ever compare to yours? Yet how long I have waited just to catch a glimpse of your face. As the deer pants for running waters, so my soul longs for you. Fill me once more. My soul is weary and sick of the unsatisfying drink the world has to offer. A clean heart create for me O Lord, and put a just and right spirit within me. You do not require sacrifices or burnt offerings, or I would offer them. Let my sacrifice instead be a humble and contrite heart.

As a new year approaches, draw me closer to you.

Amen.