"Jesus said to them, 'A prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his own kin and in his own house.' So he was not able to perform any mighty deed there, apart from curing a few sick people by laying his hands on them. He was amazed at their lack of faith." Mark 6:4-6
It's funny how I've always known this story, yet I've never truly comprehended it until recently. The Catechism of the Church says: Sometimes we turn to the Lord as a last resort, but do we really believe he is? Sometimes we enlist the Lord as an ally, but our heart remains presumptuous. In each case, our lack of faith reveals that we do not yet share in the disposition of a humble heart: "Apart from me, you can do nothing."
All too often have I boxed things up into categories of 'spiritual' (which warrants prayer) and 'non-spiritual' (which doesn't), as if there were events in my life that God didn't have a role in or didn't care about. As if I was trying to tell God how to be God. How condescending!
I have not been praying enough, nor with the right disposition of heart because of my lack of faith. I have been praying as if there have been areas of my life in which I don't need God's grace. And 'So he was not able to perform any mighty deed' in my life because I haven't let him. How much of God's endless blessings have I missed out on because of this?
"'But if you can do anything, have pity on us and help us.'
'If you can?' retorted Jesus. 'Everything is possible for one who has faith.' At once the father of the boy cried out, 'I have faith. Help my lack of faith!'" Mark 9:23-24
Jesus,
Help my lack of faith. Teach me how to pray!
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