reminders

This month has been pretty trying, I have to admit. Yet, I'm reminded time and again of my relationship with God -- He really speaks to me through ironies, paradoxes and contradictions. Sometimes it's amusing even, other times it makes me mad, still other times it just makes me exasperated. 

But at the end of the day, one reminder stays clear: "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. " And it all boils down to how much I put my trust in God that he will carry out these plans in my life. Trust, trust, trust... Just gotta keep trusting in God, even when he seems to be demanding for the ridiculous.

But despite all my weariness, one thing remains. When I see the work of God in his people, through his people, to his people, I am filled with such great joy that it makes all the pain worth it. When I see his children growing in faith, when I see his people manifesting his love, when I see his Church united in worship, I am reminded that goodness and hope still exists, still burns brightly in this world of darkness. 

A week ago, I was really, really down as can be seen 2 posts below. But now I've finally come to a stage of acceptance that I have embraced fully the role which I know I must play, and will continue to play. At the end of the day, I'm not doing it for anybody except for God. And I think I can finally say this with a measure of sincerity:

"It's enough reward for me to know that I'm helping God work in you."